Lesson Learned

Last week we went to my oldest son's swim team family bonfire.  I called the hostess to confirm she really meant "family...as in the whole family".

"Yep," she said.  "The entire family is invited."

"Well, then there will be 8 of us there."

"Oh, 8 people?  Oh.  Well...that's great.  See you Saturday."

Most of the other high-schoolers were there with their parents.  A few had brought some younger, elementary-school aged siblings.  We were the only ones with pre-schoolers.  But we were there.  All there.

This home was beautiful.  The back yard was a children's paradise with manicured paths through the woods leading back to this chalet-style shed and fire pit.  In the shed, which was painted red and had this cute curving roof and covered porch, the upstairs had been transformed into a hide-out of sorts.  There were a few cots stored up there for impromptu campouts.  There was also a fire pole descending from a balcony on the 2nd floor to the ground.  Attached to the side of the shed was a cool rope swing that you had to climb up on a platform to mount.  And over to one side of the woods there was a zip line.

My little girls first tried out the rope swing, but it being dark and all, the big kids kept walking into the swinging path and the girls would hit them.  So they decided to try out the fire pole.  I went inside to help them at the top and my husband stayed down below to catch them.  There were 5 or 6 swimmers in the upstairs of the shed hanging out -- my son being one of them.  He was showing off his little sisters to the other kids....particularly the ladies.  Little sisters have magic ways about them....making all kinds of young women want to talk to Kyle.  And he knows it.

After the girls had slid down the pole a few times, they asked me to try.  So, being the cool mom (not!), I attempted the fire pole.  My husband looked at me and shook his head as I was going down.  It was slow.  And ugly.  Not quite the picture I think he was hoping for.  When I got to the bottom, one of the high-school girls who was debating about going down was being teased and prodded to go for it.  While I was standing there, her phone fell out of her pocket and landed right on my lip.  Yeeeeeoooooowwww!  Now, I couldn't scream or cry or make any other obnoxious noises because we did not know any of these people.  The young woman was still standing on the balcony asking, "Where's my phone???"

I wanted to shout, "It hit me in the mouth, you moron!!", but for my son's sake, I kept my mouth shut.

After that we made our way over to the fire pit to hang out.  My two girls were hanging on my lap whining.  One had a tummy ache.  One was just being two.  I was talking to an older woman who said to me, "I just can't believe you can carry on a conversation as if nothing is going on."  I realized that they must be making more of a racket than I thought.  The four year old was still complaining of the tummy ache and I decided I better take her to the bathroom.  We made our way into this very large, well decorated and immaculately kept home.  The girls were fighting over who would go first because they both had to go "weely bad".  I decided Charlotte should go first because if we were going to have an accident, it's WAY better to have a pee accident than a poop accident.  Especially at someone else's house.  Charlotte sat.  And sat.  And sat.  Gwen was grabbing herself and laying on the floor with her feet up on the wall.  "Get your feet off their wall!!!!"  Oh my word.  They would know for sure whose muddy feet were on their wall.  Definitely not any of their kids.  I made an executive decision to remove Charlotte from the potty so Gwen could go.  Charlotte protested and stayed right next to the toilet with her pants pulled down ready to jump back on as soon as Gwen finished.  Once Gwen finished her business, Charlotte climbed back on.  And sat.  And sat.  And sat.  Nothing.  You know, there's only so long that it's OK to hang out in someone's house when they are not even inside.  "Charlotte, you are going to have to wait and go at home.  We have to go back outside now."  She did not like that plan, but got up and went back outside with me.  Continuing to complain and whine.

I had finally had enough and asked Matt to drive the 2 little girls and I home and then come back to stay with the others.  The girls were glad to gather their things and head to the van.  I think the other guests were glad to see the little girls gather their things and head to the van, too.  Charlotte complained the whole way home.   "My tummy hurts."  As soon as we pulled into the driveway and parked, she said, "I think I'm gonna barf."  We quickly opened the door and she had no sooner set foot on the driveway then she let fly.  Oh....was I ever glad to be at my own house.  And good girl for doing it outside where I did not have to clean anything up.  Just send daddy out with a bucket of water and all's well!  Once that was over she was her chipper, content self.  Ready to watch a movie and get her PJ's on and hang out.

Guess I learned my lesson....when it says "Family Cookout".  It doesn't really mean the WHOLE family.  Some things are better accomplished with a small group.  Next time I'll know.