Life is Different Now

It has been a good, long while since I have posted.  Life has sort of been turned upside down over the last month.  My brother, Geoff, took his own life on Sept 25th.  Since that date we have been preparing for the funeral, traveling to Montana for the service and then back to Indiana for another service and adjusting to life as it is now.  His wife and two small children have been staying with us since then.  They are preparing to return home on Tuesday.  It's hard thinking about them leaving.  It's like a little part of him is still here since they are around.  When they leave, I think it will feel very final.  We know that Geoff is now at peace and is in heaven with his Savior - that does bring comfort.  We also know that he had struggled with depression for at least 15 years, with the last year being very hard - a daily battle to stay alive - and that now he no longer has to be in that ugly place.  In the end, his body just could not handle one more doctor or prescription or treatment.  He was very sick.  It's all well and good to understand on an intellectual level.  But making your heart understand is a whole different thing.  Making children understand.....a whole different thing.  It will be a long time of grieving.  But God is good.  And I am determined to praise Him in this storm.  One of my very dear friends sang that song at our celebration of life ("Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns).  That is what I am clinging to.