Sigh.....

Warning:  I am in a foul mood.  The day started out nicely...early morning, no one else was awake, running on the treadmill at the gym (trying to get in shape for a triathlon in April), stopped at the grocery store to get each of the urchins a doughnut, home to shower.  THEN...mid shower I realized I forgot to pack lunches when I got home.  I was basking in the glory of "great mommy-dom" over the doughnuts (they are a HUGE treat around here) and just forgot to pack the stupid lunches.  I was running late because Fridays are my day off from homeschooling and so I don't feel the urgency to be back downstairs dressed and ready to read to the boys by 7:30.  I was enjoying my nice hot shower, even taking time to shave my legs (gasp!).  But, back to the lunches...I rushed out of the shower, threw on my clothes and ran downstairs, started putting 3 lunches together (2 kids + hubby).  Hubby had offered to drop kids off at school (wonderful treat for me) and they were ready to leave.  That's when I realized Gretta was not ready for school yet and she had to walk out the door in 3 minutes.  Now, let me 1st tell you this is pretty much an every-morning-thing.  The girl can't walk by the TV without stopping for a full 5 min -- putting shoes on is a 10 min ordeal.  Going upstairs to brush teeth takes a full 5 min just to get up there b/c she has to walk by the TV.  (I know, turn the thing off, you say.  Yes, but it's keeping Charlotte occupied while I get everyone else ready to start the day).  No one else has trouble with the TV on.  They can eat and watch at the same time.  (we raise talented kids, I know!)  Anyway, I was irked that once again I was having to say things like, "you are leaving in 3 minutes", "do you have your coat" (duh...it's only 3 degrees outside), "have you brushed your teeth" (another 'duh').  Finally, out they all run to van.  Only for me to realize that a gift she needs for a Valentine party is sitting on the counter.  (oh, and she left her laptop at home yesterday).  Then, I see Kyle's PE activity report which is due every Friday.  He had asked me to sign it earlier and I had told him I would after I showered.  But, then I forgot.  And so did he.  Can I just tell you, I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE BACK OVER TO THE MIDDLE SCHOOL.  Ugh.  So begins the grouchy part of my day and it's only 9:00!  Now, here's the other thing that's making me irritated today:  I am taking the 4 younger kids to an indoor playground.  Fun!  Yeah, it is fun.  They burn some energy, I can sit and watch.  But you know who else is there....young, perky moms.  You know the ones.  Still in their late 20's, cute figure, cute clothes, flowing bouncy hair.  And then there's me...fly-away hair (our water softener is not working), cute t-shirt - but it's under my big, bulky, warm sweater.  Why do I care??? Why do I compare myself to them - or anyone for that matter???  God made me just the way I am.  He loves me just the way I am.  He doesn't like when I don't honor myself....it dishonors Him, too.  I am trying to combat this.  Maybe if I just wear a big sign around my neck that says, "There's a reason why I am like this.  I have six kids...so back off!"  Hmmm....that doesn't sound very loving and approachable, does it?  Probably not a good option.  I could sit meekly in the corner and glare at them....probably not what God had in mind either.  Guess I need to in there with my head held high, proud of myself and of my kids.  Because you know what?  I am doing something fun with my kids.  I am spending time with them.  I am honoring my kids and myself.  OK, God.  Please forgive me for not loving me.  Please help me to have a fun day with my kids and not compare myself to others.  Help me to be the woman, mom, wife you want me to be.